Young love

Young love- Surely we've all seen it; it's everywhere. Quite honestly, I find it to be one of the most terrifying aspects of life. No matter what anyone says or does, They won't stop it from happening. Thus, two fall in love. Often, the aspiration in a relationship such as this is to find ones self comfortable enough to let down their guard, which has a tendency to create an even greater love. Throughout life people speak of and even witness love's ability to leave one blind. We're likely to have seen how proudly people claim to have their beloved become their everything, their life and world, their reason for living. So how can we expect them to move on when love fails them? How do they live when their reason for living is no longer there?

Without You

I'm so terribly sick of missing you and your love. Why can't I just let these feelings go? I've found it quite clear that our relationship is over and done... I've even let you alone. I find no moving on and see no turning back. It's so difficult to keep this mentality of letting go when you truly were my everything. And, still, there is so much I cannot understand. What is the real reason this has happened? Do you not feel me and my words genuine? ...Were yours? Despite whatever thought may cross my troubled mind, It will always be clear and simple that I am, and credibly will be, hurt without you.

Sonnenschein

Auf jeden Regen folgt auch Sonnenschein:
After every rainfall, there is a sunshine.

Ever since I was a little girl, this has been a saying that has always gotten me through the day and on to the next. Times will get tough and sometimes worse before they seem to get any better, but they always do get better.. whether it will last like that or not. After every horrible hardship that knocks you down, there is something great that will, once again, lift you up and bring a smile upon your face.. so have hope. Hope is what gives us strength and brings us to our dreams; it's what keeps us alive and moving towards our futures. To some people it may never seem as important as it really is, but its one of the many necessities in life. Don't lose hope.

Unmutual

I hate being loved. It's such an odd thing to hear someone say, but its exactly how I feel. I can't stand being so important to someone. Everyone likes me more than I even like myself, not that I'm sure as to why. I guess most people feel better about themselves when they're accepted by others, and I can understand that.. but, what happens when you don't like everyone else too, when things aren't mutual? People love me - I hate people... Yeah, its great. And there's also the enjoyment of turning down all the silly people who claim to have fallen in love with me. I'm just kidding, its not fun at all. I may sound hateful, but that's not all true. I have horrible guilt when someone is undeservedly hurt, especially when it's my fault, but what other choice do I have? Would it be better to pretend that I enjoy some one's presence when, in fact, it bothers me? Then it ends up that they like me more. What do I do then?

Mistakes

You make me want to live and without you I can't. You deserve so much better, I've said this all along; and sadly, now there's proof. The regret is eating me up inside like never before. I can't get this out of my mind. I've never kept anything from you and I don't want to start, but if I confess I know I'll lose you for good. I wouldn't have the audacity to beg you forgive me when it is no where near deserved. Every little thing you say to me brings me that much further down in my own guilt because i know that the truth is you should hate me and thinking of that hurts me so much more than i knew possible. You are so amazing to me and you've given up great girls for me while, unlike myself, they might actually deserve you. Ignorance is bliss, but lies and secrets have such short legs and this feels like it will haunt me for the rest of my life. If only we lived in a world where you could take back your mistakes.

Sorrow

I remember being sent outside in my barbie doll pajamas to, once again, sit on those dreadful concrete steps as you and mom fought, screamed and threw things. Did you find that I wouldn't hear and feel the whole situation from my cold, lonely steps? The neighbors dare not look, as they already know what they will find: A lost little girl, crying to herself. It seems as though I should or just might feel sorry for myself, looking back at all these crystal clear memories, but it is you that i feel sorrow for. How I, of all people, can have sympathy for you, I will never quite understand. You did this to yourself, and to me and your family. Were we not good enough for you? Had you not the life you wanted? If so, then why not leave, as you were not trapped or held against any sort of will. You decided to stay and bring us down with you, yet It is not us I have sympathy for, but just you. Mom worked herself to sickness to provide for your kids, as you stole our money and sold what little we had. I'm so confused as to how your mind works, why you did the things you did, the things that hurt you just as much as it hurt us. I'm sorry you cannot have the life you maybe once hoped for and I'm sorry you lost yourself and your home. I am sorry you hurt your kids to the point where you lost them too. I'm sorry you are the way you are and im sorry you live the way you do. I just feel so sorry for you.

Mom,

You put me down so often its starting to feel like that's all you ever do. Your words hurt me so bad, but maybe it's just the fact that I'm hearing them come from you; Although I already know just half of what you say is true. You think I feel sorry for myself? Well that just shows how well you know me. Sorry, mom, I'm not identical to every other teenager in this world; I have no self pity. In fact, I don't believe I could care less of myself or my feelings. But thanks for basically saying I'm full of myself, thank you. You tell me I'm pathetic, that I'm going no where in life; Thanks for the reminder. Ive always felt so sorry not to be the daughter you wanted, but the more you hurt me.. the less I begin to care. Ive always stuck around and taken in what I'd rather not because I couldn't be selfish enough to take the easy way out and leave you to deal with my failure, but the more you hurt me.. the less it seems that you would even care. I don't know why you choose to say what you do, and I dont see any benefit of it either, but I'll just let you talk even when you don't realize I'm always listening. Everything youve ever said, Ive always taken in and kept in the back of my mind. I'd love for you to read this and know the truth, but knowing you, you would just be angered with me having my probably childish opinion; so I won't waste my breath, I'll let you keep talking, and I'll keep hearing what you always feel the need to say.