Unimportance

Why do we find our own self completely unimportant? yet others like to disagree with that opinion... And i know they're not just disagreeing for any reason other than that they truly do disagree. i have disagreed with someone for saying they don't matter. Do we live for others? No, we live for ourselves. So i guess it doesn't matter if they disagree.. however, if i was on the other side i know I'd completely bitch myself out for saying this. I certainly would do everything in my power to prevent my friends for feeling this way, but not for myself. I'm in the -suicidal, i hate myself and my life- kinda mood...

ughh

I want to be able to say i love you and i want to hear you say it back. I do love you, and not being able to say so is making me go crazy. Why do i always want something i cant have.. Or something that is just going to screw me over in the end anyways, but hey.. thats nothing new. Maybe im stupid.... or maybe im STUPID! I cant fucking help it, i really really cant. Its almost as if I know what im getting myself into AGAIN, i knoww its gunna hurt me, and i know it would be best for me to avoid it, but i just cant and i dont know why.