Mom,

You put me down so often its starting to feel like that's all you ever do. Your words hurt me so bad, but maybe it's just the fact that I'm hearing them come from you; Although I already know just half of what you say is true. You think I feel sorry for myself? Well that just shows how well you know me. Sorry, mom, I'm not identical to every other teenager in this world; I have no self pity. In fact, I don't believe I could care less of myself or my feelings. But thanks for basically saying I'm full of myself, thank you. You tell me I'm pathetic, that I'm going no where in life; Thanks for the reminder. Ive always felt so sorry not to be the daughter you wanted, but the more you hurt me.. the less I begin to care. Ive always stuck around and taken in what I'd rather not because I couldn't be selfish enough to take the easy way out and leave you to deal with my failure, but the more you hurt me.. the less it seems that you would even care. I don't know why you choose to say what you do, and I dont see any benefit of it either, but I'll just let you talk even when you don't realize I'm always listening. Everything youve ever said, Ive always taken in and kept in the back of my mind. I'd love for you to read this and know the truth, but knowing you, you would just be angered with me having my probably childish opinion; so I won't waste my breath, I'll let you keep talking, and I'll keep hearing what you always feel the need to say.

Honesty and Trust

Is it so hard to do the one thing I ask for, the one thing that I know I deserve, the one thing that I always do for you without question? So since you lied about this, does that mean you lied when you said how much I mattered, how important I was to you? What did I do to deserve this... I really wish i knew. I've been honest with you twenty four hours of each and every day, thinking I would easily get your honesty in return. Your secrets I have always kept. I don't even know who you are anymore. I trusted you with my life and shared with you what I had thought a real friend would respect and keep between them self and I. I'm done giving second chances when I clearly can't trust anyone. The human race is despicable and I'm ashamed to be a part of it. If I really meant anything to you, then I guess you just made yourself a mistake. When your ready to apologize, I'll be here to hear it, but to trust you I will not. My trust has no seconds chances and you knew that, but I guess you didn't care enough to risk losing it and I guess I don't care enough to risk letting you betray it again. I really did value you as a friend and you really did mean a lot to me, but I can't handle the drama, I can't handle knowing that I can't trust, I can't handle anymore of this. I'm sorry, but you will get over all of this, probably even easier than I, as I am the one to deal with my decision, not knowing of whether it was right of me or wrong, but knowing whats done is done. For once, I'm just trying to do what's best for me and in the long run, i think things might be better this way.