fuck the past.

This is just abunch of unclear shit running through my head, hardly worth any reading at all..

I'm an idiot for thinking everything was going to be okay, for thinking you were actually going to be with me to stay. You were so easy to be reassuring that everything was alright, what a bunch of shit that turned out to be. You should have never came back into my life. Everything happens for a reason and when we walked out of each others lives a long time ago, it should have been meant to stay like that.. You should have never knocked back on that door. I always thought things were too good to be true, too easy to have happened.. I couldn't have been more right. Regret, regret, regret... Live life without regret. This has only made me learn never to let myself get near the same situation again. I feel kinda used to tell you the truth, but that's that. I feel like I cant even live without shit going wrong, but im starting to realize thats what life is. Living through it all, Learning from it all. That doors shut.. and believe me, its locked tight.

Venting

You should really see how defensive i can be when it comes to other people attempting to involve themselves in my life. I can't tell you exactly why.. since I don't exactly know the reason myself, but I can tell you I absolutely hate when people try to "help" me with my life or "help" me improve myself; I take that as an insult whether you have good intentions or not. What bothers me the most is when people try to ..evaluate me or figure me out. Sure, I can have a certainly deep personality but I can also be very straight forward. Either way, If i wanted you to know more then you would, obvious enough.. i don't want you to, so just simply leave me alone. When dealing with this chick right here you should probably know attention is v e r y unwanted and unappreciated. Unlike most teenage girls you'll find in this world who crave all types of attention, I avoid it at all costs. I don't throw my history out on the table for everyone to jump at. If you don't know me, you don't know me.. If your not involved in my life, your simply not involved in my life.. Don't write yourself your own invitation! Yes, I am very very careful when it comes to people walking into my life. It's not that I want things to stay the same, but looking back, im reminded of my issue with things only ever getting worse, if anything. Im breathing; Im alive.. Lets just leave it at that.